Like Father, Unlike Son
by AlexForrest5
Summary: After Col. Mayer is taken into custody, Luke consoles a contemplative Noah. A story from a few years ago that I'm now uploading here. Hope you enjoy my work - feedback is super-appreciated, including constructive criticism.


Upon feeling his bed creak slightly, Luke woke up, the first thing he noticed being Noah sitting on the edge of the bed. His weight must have pressed it down. Luke glanced at his bedside clock; 2:17 AM.

Noah noticed Luke was awake and swiveled his head around. "Hey. Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." His eyes having not yet adjusted to the darkness, Luke could just make out Noah's slightly apologetic expression.

"Hey," Luke muttered sleepily, pushing the covers away so he could pull himself into a sitting position as well. "What are you doing up?"

Noah indicated a photograph he was holding. "I couldn't sleep, so I've just been going over my father's stuff. I remembered we left the box here." Luke squinted at the picture and realized it was the one of Noah as a child.

"Are you okay?" he asked somewhat rhetorically, reaching out to caress the small of Noah's back.

Noah just sighed and bowed his head down. "I don't know." He lay down on his side, facing away from Luke, and continued to twiddle the photograph between his fingers. "I just feel so stupid. And guilty."

"How can you be so hard on yourself?" asked Luke, his voice tender. "You did what you had to do. Just because he's your father doesn't mean the Colonel should have expected a get-out-of-jail free card from you."

"It's not that," said Noah regretfully. "On the contrary, it's what I was _about_ to do. When my father cornered me at Java, I should have turned him in right there and then. Instead I just let him manipulate me again… I went to the docks with him, I offered to get him a doctor, I was even gonna let him escape. Thank God you showed up to knock some sense into me."

"Noah…" Luke struggled to find the right words to say; were there even any in such a situation? "No one should have to turn in their own father, ever. And if he was offering reconciliation, I can't blame you for wanting that… I mean, he didn't even say anything when he saw me running up to you. Hell, he told you to leave with me."

At this, Noah snickered, in the least humorous way possible. "It was probably just an act… pretend that he was going off on his own and lay on the guilt trip so I would help him. Something tells me he hasn't changed his ways, or his opinion about us."

Luke realized that Noah was most likely right, but decided not to say anything.

"Anyway," Noah added and turned to face him, to Luke's relief, "It just happens over and over again. After the Colonel almost killed you, I swore I never wanted anything to do with him again – so how come I was begging for his approval on that boat in New York? And then when he died, supposedly, I was so screwed up that I shut you off… almost enlisted… I pushed away the only person who ever loved me so that I could grieve over one who never did."

This was a lot to take in. Luke was torn between being touched by Noah's sentiment and pained at what his boyfriend was going through. "That is not true," he said, rather emotionally. "A lot of people love you, Noah, maybe you just don't appreciate yourself enough to see that. And I do believe that even your father loves you… it's not an excuse for any of the things he's done, but still."

"My father loved the son he wanted to have - not the one he got," Noah stated harshly. Luke felt a slight chill at these words. "But for some reason, I still go running back to him every time. I thought I'd moved on after he went to prison, then there was New York… I thought I was over his 'death', then he showed up this morning and almost got me to help him leave the country. I don't know, maybe he was right about me all along… maybe I'm just weak."

Luke took hold of Noah's shoulder, looking at him with determined eyes. "You are a hell of a lot stronger than he'll ever know, or be. It's not a crime to want to believe your father is a good man." After a beat, he continued, "Do you remember when my dad confessed to killing Dusty? The proof was right in front of me, his own confession – I had no way of knowing that he was just covering for my mom – but I still didn't believe it. Even though all the facts were telling me that my dad killed Dusty, I wouldn't accept that he was a murderer."

"And you were _right_," Noah pointed out, "Because your dad actually _is_ a good man. And don't forget Damien; you weren't like that with him… you wouldn't trust him, no matter how much he claimed to have changed."

"Yeah, and that turned out to be a huge mistake, didn't it?" Luke reminded him. "Besides, I barely knew Damien until recently. You grew up with Col. Mayer - no matter how difficult your life was with him, he was still your father. Of course you'd want to believe there's some good in him underneath all the cruelty."

"Well, there's not," stated Noah in resignation, "Not any that I can see. And it's just like you said, he's not my father anymore, not in the real sense. That's why I feel like such an idiot for letting him play me like that. Plus, he's already escaped from prison once. What if he came back to start messing with my head again?"

"It would hurt," Luke conceded, caressing Noah's arm from his shoulder to his elbow, "But in the end, you would do the right thing, just like you did today."

Again, Noah heaved a deep sigh. "I just want to put it all behind me already. This whole movie was such a stupid idea."  
"It wasn't," Luke noted kindly. "And I think you should finish it. I think it could help."

"Maybe," Noah allowed, sounding uncertain. He was silent for a few moments, then confessed, "Sometimes I feel like I'm damaged beyond repair, you know? It doesn't feel like I'm ever gonna move on… from my father, my past, everything."

"You will," Luke promised. "It takes time and it's not easy, but it happens. And you're gonna have me there with you every step of the way."

Noah's features melted into a grateful smile, leaving Luke to wonder how his boyfriend's smile could still produce butterflies in his stomach after over a year and a half of being together. "I wish I had your way with words, Luke… have I told you that?"

"Once upon a time, I think, but reminders are always welcome," Luke playfully replied, and they both laughed lightly as Noah snuggled against him.

"I love you, Luke," he whispered, and pressed a long, lingering kiss goodnight to the other man's lips, before laying his head down on Luke's chest.

Luke began to run his fingers soothingly through Noah's dark hair. "The feeling's mutual," he whispered back. Several minutes later, Noah had fallen asleep in his arms.

- End


End file.
